Brianna reached into the shelf. "Oh, there you are," she said with a smile. "What're you doing hiding in the armory?" Her hand nudged aside the two Peebos that were kept on the shelf and picked up the volleyball-net-launcher device. "I FOUND IT!" she hollered back out of the room, into the hall, and down towards the ready-room. "Well, hurry it up!" Gina's voice faintly shouted back. "I can't hold this light-gate open all day!" "I thought this was gonna be a fun trip to the Retreat!" Brianna shot back. "Stop trampling on my parade!" "That's RAINING on your pa--hey! Never mind! Just hurry!" "All right, all right!" Brianna said as she went for the door. She got to the doorway and turned around again, seeing something move out of the corner of her eye. Her hat was on the floor beneath the shelves. She thought about picking it up, but two things worked against that. First of all, she wouldn't need her hat on the annual Retreat picnic that she and her friends and family were going on, and secondly, Gina was right--they were late as it was. She hurried out towards the ready-room, and the door started to close. Unseen by her, however, her hat made a frenzied dash for the closing door and scooted out just before it shut. "Yeeeeha!" the hat said as it made it past the door. The wind currents picked it up and flipped it, revealing two miniature AI creatures. "You need to cut some eyeholes next time!" the lead Peebo said. "I need to bring a Radar unit instead of you next time, you whiner!" the second one countered. "Now keep it down before we're found out!" "What're they gonna do?" came the response. "None of 'em're fast enough to catch us, and besides, they all just left!" "That's exactly the point," the second Peebo whispered as he led the first one on a slow, stealthy course leading towards the ready-room. "As you know, the whole bunch of 'em just went on a day-long trip to the Retreat to relax, and I mean EVERYONE.. and that gives us.." The two Peebos went through the ready-room and into Gina's lab. "..FREE ROAM of the ENTIRE COMPLEX!!" "Wooo!!!" the first Peebo cheered. Jason Low presents THE PEEBO CHRONICLES "Houseguests" The two Peebos raced around the complex for a few celebratory laps. The first one, the one that had been complaining about eyeholes, had the official designation of PEEBO/79, and was a C4 Peebo, with half-a-kilo of the highly volatile plastic explosive stored inside him. His "partner in crime", PEEBO/4, was a "regular" Nitro Peebo, and the oldest still functioning unit among them. As such, Peebo 4 was respected as a wise old Peebo, and rightly so, for he had been on hundreds of missions with the Diggers girls. Still, experience wasn't everything--for, behind his back, everyone pointed out how Peebo 4 had clearly failed to carry out his duties as a Peebo, seeing as how he'd been on hundreds of missions with the Diggers girls. "So what do we do first?" 79 said excitedly. "Check out the TV room? Raid the fridge?" "First, we--raid the fridge?! You can't even eat, you fool!" "We can TRY!" "I KNEW I should've brought 50 instead.." 4 muttered as they returned to the door to the armory. "Anyway, first we have to get this door open, so the others can join us." "How're we gonna do that? The keypads for the doors are 1422.4 millimeters off the ground, and we're only 60, at best!" "With this," 4 said, skittering over to a broom lying on the floor nearby. "I think I see where you're going," 79 said, and got under the handle end of the broom after they'd put it perpendicular to the door. As the two of them worked together, 4 pushing the bristles away from the door and 79 moving towards 4, underneath the handle, they were able to get the handle end to rise up quite fast; it slapped the wall with a sharp WHACK. Unfortunately, it was an inch to the left of the door-open key. "LOOK OUT!" 79 squealed, racing away as the broom fell back down. 4, trying to support it at the bristle end, wasn't so lucky; he was tossed into the air by the reaction force. "Woaaaaahhh!!" he shouted, tumbling end-for-end. "Eee!" 79 contributed, as the broom handle whacked against the floor. 4 continued his upward and backward ascent. "Evel Knievel, eat your heart out! YAHOO!!" His motion was finally arrested when he struck the wall, or, interestingly enough, the door-open key; the door slid open, and 4 slid down the wall to its junction with the floor. "You ok?" 79 said, skidding to a stop before 4. "Oooohhh.." came a low moan from the old Peebo as he rolled around on his back like a turtle for a moment. "Wow, that's some ride, you gotta try it!" "Yippeee!" was another sound that filled the air at that moment, as a hundred or more Peebos rushed out the open doorway and filled the hallway in an almost- alive tidal-wave of motion. "Okay, everybody listen up!" 4 said a few moments later, addressing the entire flock, numbering 120 in all, including him and 79. "We have NO IDEA how long they're gonna be gone! So we're going to have to watch the monitors and make sure they don't catch us out, or we're all dead meat!" A fearful murmur rippled through the crowd. "That's right," 4 went on. "Now, if we do this in an orderly fashion, we can have our fun and not get in trouble for it. We need to lay down some rules, so nobody go AAANNNYYYWHERE until I give the word!" A voice drifted up from the back: "What's the word?" "What?" 4 shot back. "What do you mean?" "I mean, what's the word that you're gonna give??" "You'll know it when you hear it," 4 replied. "How will we know that we've heard it," someone else piped up, "if we haven't been told what it is?" "Oh, f'r cry'n out--" 4 muttered. "'Go'. It's 'go'." "What is it?" came another voice. "GO!" 4 screamed in frustration. A hundred and ninteen Peebos dispersed to all points of the compass. "No, you fools!" 4 shouted. "That's not--I wasn't--" He trailed off, regarding the stampede of his screaming and cheering brothers as they left the hallway. "Ah, what the heck!" he shouted, racing down from his perch and chasing off after them. "Wait for me!" It didn't take long for the ten dozen of them to disperse about the complex. They were in every room and every corner, and nothing was sacred. They got into the ready-room and played with the mess there, accidentally popping open a light-gate which sent two of them off to Shangra-La. Another bunch went through the laundry room, coming up with the girls' hats and clothes, role-playing for a while. No less than 10 of them began an impromptu Peebo 500 around the outer hallways of the complex, racing one another in a high-speed-chase that approximated Bri' and Brit's indoor running course. Still others rummaged around in the labs, playing with the equipment and occasionally letting off bursts of laser or other such possibly-harmful stuff. It didn't matter to them, though, because blowing up was part of--or, rather, the whole purpose of--their existence. Speaking of which, astonishingly enough, no Peebos had yet decided to detonate their cargo. They were indeed little more than mobile explosive charges, but that "little" extra prompted them all to have as much fun as possible. 61 popped out of Brit's sock drawer, a navy-blue sock pulled over him. "Lookit me, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!" "You look more like a Smurf!" came the reply from someone else. "Aaa! It's got me!" 12 screeched, racing around in circles with a pair of Brit's undies snagged on his body. A couple others laughed. Having said what was said about explosions and such earlier, there were indeed fifteen or so Peebos racing about the firing range. It was more of a weapons test bed than a firing range, with simulated terrain of all types, and lots of energy-absorbing covering on the walls and ceiling to prevent any stray blasts from damaging anything. It was perfect, in other words, for exploding objects to play in. "COWABUNGA!" Peebo 214 screamed as he launched himself off a small rise and self-destructed just as he reached a rockface. It crumbled and fell the ten feet to the floor of the range in a mini-rock-slide. "Cool!" several other Peebos in the range enthused, and exploded right where they were. This prompted the others in the room to set themselves off too, racing at one another, competing to see who had the neatest blast pattern, and so on. 4 was one of the group going about the outer edges of the complex in the race when he noticed the personnel elevator rising up into its shaft. He stopped abruptly, causing a six-Peebo pileup behind him which rolled over him as well. "Someone's home!!" 4 said in a panic. "Everybody hide! Quick!" He turned to the nearest Radio Peebo. "Pass that on to all the others you can reach!" He did, and everyone scurried behind table legs and potted plants, anywhere where there was sufficient cover to hide a bit-bomb. They all watched in silence as the elevator descended again. 4 looked over the area of the complex that he could see, with clothes, guns, books, equipment, and virtually everything else imaginable in the complex strewn about. he told himself as the elevator door opened. Gina stepped off, and 4 internally gasped as his IFF subroutines painted the two behind her as unfriendlies. Even as the names 'Zelda' and 'Daishi' were registering in his CPU, Gina's comptuer was barking out a warning. "WARNING! INTRUDER ALERT! WARNING! INTRUDER ALERT! WARNING--" "Computer, SHUT UP!" Gina snapped, and it obeyed her, falling silent. "Hey, aren't those the bad guys?" 33 whispered to 4, beside him. "Yeah," 4 answered, "but they're with Gina, so stay put." "She looks like she's in a baaaaad mood!" "Tell me about it," 4 said, knowing something wasn't right. "Geez," Zelda said, "that disguise is really unnerving, I'm telling you!" "It can't be helped," Gina said back in a no-nonsense tone, walking into the lab area and standing there, looking around. "It's the only way we can stay in here. Otherwise the computer wouldn't let me override it with 'my' voice, and we'd all be tossed out. And Pee Wee needs us to get what we came here for, so I stay like this." She walked to a computer and peeked at its screen. "Besides, it worked once before, and you go with what you know." "Both of you, quiet; something in this room is watching us," Daishi said. "Oh geez!" 33 whispered. "We've been found out!" "Stay calm!" 4 ordered. "Keep the element of surprise, and strike when--" "Strike NOW!" 33 interrupted, and rushed forward. A great many of the Peebos followed him. "Wait!" 4 protested, but it was too late. Around 25 of the Peebos rushed the two intruders and one possible-intruder and set off their payload. The ensuing explosion sent Gina and Zelda flying back out of the lab and into the hall; Daishi simply turned and crouched and let the blast wash over him harmlessly. "What the heck was that?!" Zelda blurted out. "I don't know," Gina growled, getting to her feet. "But I intend to take--" "WARNING! DETONATIONS REGISTERING OUTSIDE SAFE ZONE!" the computer voice rang out again. "RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE--" "SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" Gina screamed. She saw a pair of Peebos hiding behind the base of a chair. "Shut those stupid things off!" "UNABLE TO COMPLY," the computer boomed. "PEEBO CONTROL HANDLED EXCLUSIVELY BY BRIANNA'S TERMINAL." She was about to respond when six more Peebos rushed her. She put her arms in front of her face and uttered a few words, shying back; she shimmered and became Ionis, just as the Peebos exploded harmlessly against his forcewall. "WARNING! INTRUDER ALERT! WARNING INTRUDER ALERT!" the computer repeated a few times, then added: "INITIATING BASIC SAFETY PROTOCOLS!" The doors all locked magnetically. "SCANNING INTRUDERS.. MAGIC USER FOUND.. INITIATING MAGIC SAFETY PROTOCOLS!" A blue glow emerged from all the walls momentarily and then faded. "ACTIVATING TRANSPORTER EMERGENCY EVICTION SYSTEM!" Ionis felt a hazy sensation pass over him and then depart. "WARNING! CRITICAL ERROR 024-X!" the computer carried on. "TRANSPORTER FUNCTIONS DAMAGED! UNABLE TO EXPEL INTRUDERS!" Ionis looked around; Daishi was, of course, gone, having removed himself from the one-sided fight with the Peebos. Zelda also appeared to have run away. "Great. Just GREAT!" he complained, then looked down at himself. "..Huh?" he realized. He tried to change back into Gina; nothing happened. Nothing he wanted to happen, that is; rather, the computer spoke up again. "MAGIC ACTIVITY DETECTED. ANTI-MAGIC FIELD IN OPERATION. ALL MAGICAL ABILITIES SUPPRESSED." After a pause, it added, "BUD, YOU'RE IN DEEP KAKA NOW!" "Oh DO shut up," Ionis complained, rushing from the room in the most likely direction of Zelda. 4 and the other Peebos still remaining, numbering about 60, hesitantly came out into the center of the room. "Zoinks," someone supplied, "Now THAT was weird!" "Never mind that," 4 said, "We gotta save the day here! How are we gonna get rid of these creeps?" "We'll blow 'em up!" someone shouted. "YEAH!" came a chorus. "No!" 4 hollered back. "Think about it--we'll be destroying their labs and everything! We don't wanna do that, right?" "Um.. YEAH!" came a similar chorus. "But it's what we DO!" another Peebo spoke up. "YEAH!" "Everyone stop shouting 'YEAH'!!" 79 said. "YEAH!" "But if WE don't blow up the bad guys, THEY'RE gonna wreck the complex!" came another protest. 79 turned to 4. "He's got a point there." "Well, we're not gonna blow up the complex!" 4 said. "I KNOW it's what we do; it's what we ALL do! But if we--" 4 turned around as he heard some triumphant, patriotic music coming from somewhere. Someone behind him was playing it as background noise for the speech. "--But if we blow it up, while we WILL win the battle, we'll lose the war! All the girls's stuff'll be wrecked! We might not even GET the bad guys!" His voice dropped to a low rumble. "And worst of all.. Gina probably wouldn't trust Brianna any more, because we got loose and ruined everything!" One of the Peebos rammed his body/head against the wall repeatedly. "Augh, why are you making us THINK about the CONSEQUENCES of our actions all of a sudden?" "Yeah, let us go do our duty!" someone else said. "No way!" 79 shouted. He rolled up beside 4. "You guys wanted 4 to lead us, so let him LEAD us! He's the oldest of us all and he knows what's best! So let him make the decisions and we'll follow him!" "YEAH!" one Peebo roared, as if to be part of a chorus which didn't develop. All the others looked at him. "Um.. I mean, I agree," he amended. "Where did Daishi get to?" Ionis railed as he paced back and forth before Zelda. "Where do you think?" she shot back. "He FLED. Just like we should've. Somehow he got past this building's barriers and made a clean getaway!" "Well, if I had my magic, we could be on our way," Ionis grumbled. He held out his hands; nothing happened. "See? Impotent." "You said it, not me," Zelda grinned. She stood and cracked her knuckles. "All I want is one more crack at those little robots. NOTHING gets the best of me!" "You will have your chance," Daishi said from behind them. "We will all have our chance. They are plotting against us as well, and the final battle is soon to be at hand." "What you're saying is it's time to strike?" Zelda asked. "It is sometimes better to attack indirectly rather than on a frontal assault," Daishi told them. "If we remove their ability to fight, we can emerge victorious; and we will not require magic or other unavailable powers to accomplish it." "How long were you behind us?" Ionis asked. "I have always been here." He turned to lead them out of the room. "I hate it when you talk like a Vorlon," Zelda added, falling into step. Ionis looked at her. "A what?" The Peebos, meanwhile, were in the elevator, trying to get to the house to see if anything on that level could be useful to their cause. "Keep it steady down there!" 40 called out, swaying back and forth. Twenty-eight stacked Peebos below him, 15 shot back, "Stop wrigglin' around so much, then!" "Yeah!" came a voice from somewhere else in the column. "Hit the button already!" "Whoaaa," 40 said as he tilted WAY back from the rocking the column was doing. In a moment, the motion went the other way, and he was soaring through the air, straight at the "up" button. "Banzai!" he screamed, just before smacking into the button and activating it. The impact knocked him off the top of 33, causing the whole column to fall into a huge pile of Peebos on the floor of the elevator. DING! The doors closed and the lift started to head upwards. "So what are we doing, then?" Ionis wanted to know. "We're going to go find their computers and smash them to bits," Zelda said energetically. "And that should shut down the security systems that trapped us here." "And give me my magic back," Ionis realized with joy. "So I--er, I mean, we-- can abscond at once." "Leave?" Zelda countered, spinning on Ionis. "Never! Not until those 'peebos' are history! I have a reputation to uphold!" "I was afraid you'd say that," Ionis sighed. "There's nothing up here, 4," 50 said as he rolled to a stop. "Nothing we can use, at any rate." "Well, then, let's go back downstairs," 4 said tiredly. "We'll have to figure out some plan of action once we get down there." "We gonna go blow 'em up?" 31 asked with excitement. "Only if we have to," 4 said. He rose himself to his full height. "Everyone listen up! This is it--this is what we've all been created to do. And I don't mean to explode--I mean to take out the enemy!" Apparently not everyone had heard the word to rally around. Peebo 19 rolled to a stop on the edge of the kitchen counter above, pushing a jar of something in front of him. "Hey, can this help--" "LOOK OUT!" someone shouted. 4 looked up, as much as a Peebo can look up, and saw the jar of blueberry jam coming right for him. He tried to back out of the way, but it was already too late, and the jar shattered atop him, spreading blue gunk all over half his body. "Get back down here!" he roared at 19, then turned to address the Peebos again. "Anyway. Our purpose isn't just to blow things up. We're here to make sure that evil everywhere is put down! That isn't to say that we WON'T explode, some of us--and some of us may not make it out alive. (At least, not until Brianna reloads our CPUs into new machines..) But we'll have gone out in our own blaze of glory, defending our home against the unspeakable evil that is Pee Wee Talon's goons! They'll fight back, too, but this is what we've been training for, so be brave and fight well! They may be able to take away our sentience, but they can never take our COMPLEX!!" "YEAH!" came the chorus again as they rushed for the elevator. Five minutes later, after building the stack of Peebos again and hitting the down button (and, just so you know, falling down in a heap again), the elevator opened to disgorge the miniature army. It was small both in terms of size and numbers; there were only about forty Peebos left, but they were ready to fight to the finish. They got their chance; as soon as they exited the elevator, the Peebos saw, at the very end of the hallway, three humanoid figures, standing in the doorway of the GinaLab. The figures turned around at the sound of the elevator chime and regarded the cluster of bit-bombs. 4 stood at the front of the pack, half his body still covered in blueberry jam. He stared down the corridor, staring right into the eyes of the three intruders. "Peebos.." 4 said in a low growl, which rose to a tremendous shout. "CHARGE!" Peebo after Peebo rushed the trio, and they crossed up the intruders quite nicely; 4 had reminded them about Peebo Prime's tactics when running from Brit and Brianna that very first historic day, and they followed that mode of attack in going after Pee Wee's goons as well. A squadron of them zoomed between Ionis and Zelda's legs, tripping them and causing them to crash into one another. Daishi was more skilled and didn't lose his footing after a half-dozen or so Peebos rushed his feet; instead, he drew his sword and swung at the bit-bombs again and again. "Sucker!" 61 yelled as he deked out Daishi's attack and vectored around to take Ionis down again. Daishi ordered himself to remain calm. The Peebos were still attacking him, but he did his best to ignore their assaults and concentrate on offensive maneuvers of his own. Until one of the little pests ran over his foot. "RRR!" he rumbled, losing his cool and swinging his sword around at the Peebo. "Oh, you do NOT wanna do that!" the Peebo said as the blade neared him. "Bye- bye!" The sword sliced the Peebo open and caused its Nitro charge to be released, sending Daishi flying back through the air, slamming against the back wall of the lab. The other Peebos took this as their cue to start blowing up, and a bunch actually did before 4 got them calmed down again. "We cam still do this without much damage!" he said. "Stay calm!" "But HOW?!" someone railed as Zelda and Ionis got to their feet. "TO OUR FREEDOM!" Peebo 102 screamed, launching himself up into the air towards the three humans. The Peebo detonated his charge, but it didn't cause his destruction; instead, he fell to the floor and skittered away. Meanwhile, though, interesting things were happening: As soon as 102 released his charge, the lights dimmed, and the computers all hiccuped. "Woah!" "Zoinks!" "OooOooOOoooOoooo.." "I think I'm gonna be SICK!" and other such shouts rose up from the few remaining Peebos as they all spun around in random patterns, acting as if they were dizzy. Ionis and the others were stunned for a moment as well. They (at least Ionis and Zelda) had fearsome headaches, and their vision was blurry. "What was THAT?!" Zelda blurted out. "Hey," 4 asked 79, "What kind of Peebo was 102?" "EMP, I think, for the most part," 79 said dizzily, "with a stunner field added in." "Uh-huh," 4 said, finally getting his bearings. "Thought so." "ERROR: SUBSPACE FIELD DISRUPTION," Gina's computer said. "REBOOTING TO CLEAR MEMORY BANKS AND RESET HIGHER-LEVEL FUNCTIONS." "That--that'll mean that, my.. my magic--" Ionis babbled. He spread his arms wide and invoked a spell of teleportation. "All RIIIIGHT!" "Hey, what about US?!" Zelda protested even as Ionis was fading. He simply smiled and waved. "It would be in our best interests to make haste and abandon this position," Daishi said to Zelda. "How come you never say things like 'haul @$$' anymore?!" she asked him as the two of them ran away. The remaining 20 or so Peebos cheered loudly. "YAAAAYYY!! WE WON! WE WON!" They had indeed, and almost a hundred of them had been able to enjoy the ultimate sacrifice of self-destruction in the line of duty. It was a happy time for all. The computer, meanwhile, during its reboot, was polling all the external sensors, like the one in Gina's light-gate controller. "Locating primary user," the computer declared. "Primary user found. Location: The Retreat." The Peebos sighed with relief. "Status: Activating light-gate. Destination: Home base." Panic, of course, set in at that point. Every Peebo that could still move scrambled around in a frenzy. Wails of despair rang out as they all realized the complex was a complete shambles and Gina was coming back. "DOES ANYBODY HERE KNOW HOW TO TURN ON THE WORK-BOTS??" someone screamed. "Work-bots activated," came a voice from the ceiling. "Estimated time of completion: 14.32951 minutes." "Anyone got an idea how long it'll take Gina to get home?!" 4 shouted. "According to this," a Telemetry Peebo said from near one of the computer screens, "14.33333 minutes." "This is gonna be SOOOOOO close!" 4 moaned. In the end, the work-bots got their jobs done and were stepping back into their storage alcoves just before the light-gate in the ready room powered up. 4 didn't have time to admire the job the work-bots had done, although it was magnificent. Not a thing was out of place--there wasn't even a scorch mark on the floor. It was as if the greatest battle the Diggers' complex had ever seen (well, at least in 4's mind) had never been waged. "Hurry! Double time! Move move move!" 4 urged as he and the other nineteen Peebos raced back towards the armory, to hide away before the girls came through the light-gate. "Oh NUTS!" 79 said. "What?" 4 asked. "The armory door--it's closed itself!" 79 said. "Must've happened when the security protocols were activated!" They all squealed to a stop before the closed door. There was no time to try the broom again, and the girls would surely see them if they hung out in the hallway any longer. "Quick! HIDE!" 4 exclaimed. "Everyone get out of sight!" Eighteen of the twenty Peebos shot out in all directions, trying to find suitable cover. That left 4 and 79 still parked in the corridor beside the armory door. "So what do WE do?" 79 said with despair. "Like the bad guy said a while back," 4 said, heading towards the hat lying on the floor, "you go with what you know." Brianna walked into the hallway, whistling a little tune, and carrying the volleyball-net-launcher under her arm. As she neared the armory, though, she slowed to a stop. She stood there looking at the hat and broom. "What the heck..?" Picking up the hat, she was surprised to find two Peebos underneath it. They looked up at her with as surprised (and yet innocent) an expression as an AI bit-bomb could have. "How did you two get out here??" she said, smiling, with an accusing tone. "Peebo," came the response from one of them. Bri' put her hands on her hips in mock anger. "Have you been causing trouble?" "Peebo," the other one said. She keyed her armory's door open. "Okay, get back in here. From the looks of things, you weren't doing any harm, and you were only trying to get back into the armory." They followed her into the room and obediently hopped up onto the shelf. She replaced her hat on the desk, put the volleyball-net-launcher away, and turned to take the broom back to where it belonged. "You behave yourselves now," she smiled at the Peebos as she left. The door slid shut, and Peebos 4 and 79 sat there, staring straight out from the shelves, like the good little inert bit-bombs they were. Eventually, after Brianna had shut the door and walked away, 4 slowly grew a tiny little smile. -end-